Readers Respond: How Do You Handle Baby Shower Invitations?

Few things are more difficult than attending a baby shower when you’re living with infertility. Sometimes saying no is easy, like if the inviter is a co-worker who you’re not friends with anyway. Other times, it feels impossible to just skip the event – like if it’s your sister or cousin’s baby shower.

How do you handle baby shower invitations? Share your experiences (and advice for others) below.

Can't anymore

I used to go before. But now that we've been trying for a baby for almost 7 years, I just can't do it anymore. I have stopped going.

—Guest ASN

Yes or No

It really depended not only on who was doing the asking but how I felt. Even if it was a good friend, there were times I couldn't go. And if it was a good friend, they understood and never gave me grief about it. Now, other people - that's a different story!

—Guest Robin

I was selective...

I felt like I had to go to those for family, but they also sheltered and buffered me, allowing me to hang out in the kitchen if I wanted to hang there. If it was a close friend, I think I went to one or two, but everyone else got a nice present sent via the mail. Check online to see if they are registered at a store that has an online registry. You can buy, wrap and send a card without much thought or having to stumble through a store full of babies and their stuff.

—Robin

Never went to one

When trying to get pregnant, I never went to a baby shower. It may sound mean, but it was just too hard. I was already jealous of my friends who got pregnant -- seeing them dotted on by everyone, and hearing all that baby talk, would just be way too much. I did send a gift, but usually something mom-center, like fancy soap. Maybe not baby-specific, but I figure mom needs to take care of herself after the baby comes, too!

—Guest Anna