Readers Respond: How Do You Respond to Questions About Having Kids?

Having kids may be your goal, but if you don't conceive quickly, others who are not familiar with your situation may ask, "When are you going to have kids?" This can be frustrating, and even hurtful, to a couple with infertility.

How do you respond to questions about having kids? Share your reaction to these kinds of questions below.

Why do you want to know

How I answer that question depends on who is askin and how. If I feel like the person is just being nosy, I come back at them with "why do you want to know". I've noticed that when I respond that way it actually makes people stop and think. Otherwise, I just say when it happens.

—Guest De

It Varies

My most common response is/was "never" with a harsh stare. Sometimes I will say "I don't know". And like another mentioned, "we've stopped trying not to" which is convoluted enough that they have to think about it and I can walk away or change the subject. The worst for me was when I realized I had inadvertently asked a friend the question I feel is so rude. How do you ask inadvertently? I was telling her about a dream I'd had about her and her husband and there was a kid in it. And she then started talking about having kids. And she's very private, so I don't think she would have if I hadn't mentioned the dream. It still makes me squirm when I think about it.

—Guest Jenn

We're not trying not to

I tell people that we are no longer preventing pregnancy, and it will happen whenever it does. We'll welcome a baby whenever we are blessed with one. That's half the truth, but I figure it's the only half they really need to know.

—Guest Still Trying

We're just enjoying being married

Infertile people lie and avoid the topic. LOL. "We're just enjoying being married", is one of the whoppers said to make you shut up asking us when we're having kids. I've got an entire arsenal for fielding the questions. Number 2 is usually, "kids are too expensive! We're in a recession. We'll see what happens". LOL Sad but true, you often have to be harsh and fast to get the questions to stop immediately. BUT, my meanest response was, "When my ovaries start working". I'm still ashamed of that one. LOL

—Mrs.Tiye

Hopefully one day I will have kids

When people ask me, "When are you goin to have kids, you and your husband," I say I don't know, because I really don't until it happens I guess.

—Guest Mrs.jackson22

Apprecitating "our" time

I tend to just tell people that we are enjoying each other and getting to know one another better (if they only knew :-)) so that when the baby does come along, we are truly ready as a couple.

—Guest amwyatt