Readers Respond: What Are Your Thoughts On Trying to Conceive After Age 35?

Most women know that their fertility declines with age, especially after age 35. However, there are a number of reasons for not being able to start or finish building a family until later in life. For some couples, they don't feel ready earlier. For others, they have children, but are now looking to add more kids to their family.

Trying to get pregnant after 35 brings up a wide range of emotions. Some worry they might have waited too long or are anxious about the increased risk of miscarriage or birth defects. Others feel hopeful, in spite of the statistics. What are your thoughts on trying to conceive after age 35?

Third pregnancy at 34?

My husband and I have two beautiful daughters and we considering a third child. I am nervous about pregnancy at 34. My last pregnancy was at 27.

—Guest Brown

Tough decision

I just turned 39, I have 5 kids. My husband is ok with one more child (on most days;)) so we gave it a go. I have PCOS, adopted one of my kids after 5yrs of TTC then had 3 more, with drugs and surgery. The last one was a "surprise". So I don't quite have a record of easily getting pregnant since ovulation is hit or miss...more misses than hits actually. 2 month ago, I had a miscarriage, I wasn't very far. It's freaky to read about the risks and the chances on line. In my case, ovulation is already one hurdle, then conceiving is next. I don't know how long we'll try. And to those who say there are tons of orphans to adopt, good luck! Adoption is a huge trial, very emotional and definitely not a "way out" of TTC. The results after success are extraordinary, just like TTC, but the process is just as emotionally draining! I do believe God can help, but I think He helps those who helps themselves, meaning that Drs and drugs are there for a reason, He inspired those scientist to help us too;)

—Guest Moi

Don't give up

I am 39 with a 21 year old son. I have been pregnant before and made the WRONG decision(s) to terminate the pregnancy(s) because I didn't have a supportive partner or enough money. Now I have both. I'm engaged to a wonderful man and we want a child of our own more then anything! There is a lot of help and information available. Do your research on things like fertility vitamins, best positions to conceive, chiropractic to help conception (especially good if you have a tipped uterus), environmental toxins and bad habits that may prevent conception(stop smoking!)and buy yourself OTC tests to determine when you are ovulating. I believe you CAN stack the odds in your favor! My sister conceived twins at 39 after only trying 1 WEEK. It can happen for you and I pray it can happen for me too.

—Guest Maire

Yes, it can happen...twice!

My husband and I had been waiting for that "perfect time" to have a baby... and of course, there is no perfect time. Once my 40th birthday came and went, we thought that the ship had sailed. At least, until I found out about three weeks after my 44th birthday that I was pregnant! (I won't go into detail as to why this was a surprise.) After our wonderfully healthy son was born, we prayerfully decided to try to have a second child...and without any extra help (drugs, keeping up with fertility, etc.), I got pregnant again about two months after we started trying. (And as it was a busy time of year for me at work and a pretty busy time at home with our taking care of a less-than one year-old baby, let's just say we didn't get to try all that often!) Our beautiful, healthy baby girl was born on my 46th birthday. :-) Thus, despite what you may hear, pregnancy after 35 is definitely not impossible...we believe these little ones are gifts from God and that with God, all things are possible!

—Guest Lee

Everything Went Fine

I have fertility issues (PCOS) and was unable to concieve in my 20's due to not seeking medical treatment. I remarried when I was 29 and due to various circumstances did not try to have a child until I was 34- by this time I was on the proper medication for my condition. Our daughter was born when I was 35 and my husband was 38. We waited almost three years from her birth to try for a second child and after only 4 months of trying I became pregnant with my son. I am thrilled to have a healthy baby at the age of 39 and would love to have one more child but so far my husband is saying "no way!" but as our son is only a week and a half old I think I have a couple more years before it is too late for me. I did have a very good friend in elementary school whose parents were 45 and 48 when she was born- they had grown kids and grandkids!

—Guest MRowe

trying again

I have a 7 year old and 9 year old step daughter. My husband and I had 2 miscarrriages last year. We will try again this summer and see. I think If we leave things in 'gods hands' we would not all get pregnant past a certain age. Its pretty weird to use IVF, Clomid, And God all in the same sentence....I'm judging that ladies sorry..

—Guest lcitte

Just as difficult as it was at age 26

I got married at 26 and tried getting pregnant. Saw several doctors. Had painful expensive tests that revealed no problems. At 35 I still wasn't pregnant. I finally gave up at age 38.

—Guest Anonymous

TTC at almost 40

I recently married a wonderful man. We have been ttc for 2 months now & no luck yet. I have an 18 yr old son. My husband tells me not to worry too much. If its meant to be, then it will happen. If not, he will be alright with it, too, & won't love me any less. But I have such a strong desire of having another baby....especially with my husband. I had blood work done determining that I'm not menopausal & my doc recommended that I try using an OPK....w/c I have been for these past 2 months. I got a very faint positive read last month & nothing this month. So I'm going to get another blood work done next month to determine if I'm ovulating at all or not. I'm staying hopeful, prayerful, & keeping the faith that God will bless me with a little one some time soon. Good luck & baby blessings to you all.

—Guest Yvette

Still trying!

I will be 40 this year, my husband a year older. He has 3 girls from previous marriage (15/16/17) and we so want to have a child together. We have experienced 3 miscarriages in the last 2 years but have not given up hope... Each has lasted loner than the one before - so with God's grace someday (hopefully soon) we will be blessed with a child and carry to term!

—Guest Kim

It doesn't get easier

My mother taught me early on to do what I wanted with my life before I had children, because once I had them my life would be their lives (granted she had 3 in 3 years- I imagine that was tough). I hope I haven't waited too long myself though. After figuring out that my husband would put off having a child forever if he could I am trying AI to have one on my own. 6 Months and still nothing. This is not fun. So, despite how wise my mother was it may be an idea to at least think about kids before you reach 35. It doesn't get easier. On another note, does anyone else ever wonder if you can't get pregnant would it not be annoying to have spent all that money on birth control for all those years! Please wish me luck....

—Guest Kyrie

Been trying for 9 months

I'm 36, turning 37 this year. I already have a 4yrs son. I'm trying to have a second one. I quit taking the pill since August and up untill now , no positive result.

—Guest Cristina

All things are possible with God!

My mother gave birth to me at d age of 45 wtout any help from doctor, i belief it is possible with God.

—Guest Carolyne

tubal reversal

I had my tubes untied 6 weeks ago and I am trying to get pregnant asap. this is the second month and counting. I am hopeful but I am 39 and my husband is 24 so we will leave it in god's hands.

—Guest kelly

Seriously?? What about adoption

I am trying to conceive at 39 but my husband and I have decided to adopt if it does not work. I guess I do not understand why people with 5 children are resorting to IVF for a 6th child when there are so many children in need of a home. I do hope to conceive but we will glaldy open our home to an orphan before resorting to IVF.

—Guest Wynne

I AM BLESED

Since, I posted "No Not Me", I have had time to think about the pregnancy I thought I didn't want for all the wrong reasons. I AM BLESSED at age 45 to conceive a miracle that only God can create. God has always provided for me and he will continue. In this surprise, God has a plan that not even I can abort the plan. To all you mommies who are believing God for a miracle at whatever age, focus on the word and not your circumstance. GOD IS ABLE!!!

—Guest maggie