Here's a resolution many trying-to-conceiver'ers can (or should!) get behind - try to be less obsessive regarding your trying to conceive efforts. I'm not expecting anyone to totally drop their intense focus, but just ease up... just a bit.
"Me? Obsess? Never!"
Really? Well, see if you can relate to any of the following:
- You check and recheck the calendar to see what day your period will be late, and then count how many days it is until then, perhaps more than once in the same day.
- You chart your body basal temperature, but instead of just walking away, you look over the dots on the graph multiple times a day, trying to read the pattern like a psychic reads tea leaves.
- You feel your boobies when no one is looking... you know, to see if they're sore (and therefore, maybe you're pregnant.)
- You look up online things like "early pregnancy signs" or "clomid success" or "ivf success", many, many, many times, just in case a different article will have the answer you're looking for.
- You take not one, not two, but multiple pregnancy tests, sometimes days before your period would be late. In fact, you've got a small stockpile of tests in your bathroom cabinet right now.
- You stay up way too late reading fertility forums and fertility blogs. You're certain you spend a couple hours or more a day doing this.
Any of that ring a bell?
One way to conquer trying to conceive obsessions is to schedule them. Yes, actually write in your planner or date book, "Fertility Focus Time." Then, stick to it. If you feel tempted to check that calendar again, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you'll get to check again tomorrow, and probably the calendar hasn't changed since yesterday.
And while many couples have resolved to get serious about trying to conceive, perhaps a better resolution for the TTC weary -- those of you who are really feeling worn out -- may be taking a break. Talk to your doctor first, of course, but taking a break from trying to conceive can help you lessen the obsessive thoughts and give you a chance to emotionally heal.
What about you? Are you guilty of any TTC obsessions? Confession is good for the soul, they say. Please share yours in the comments!
More on coping while trying to conceive:
- Quiz: Are You Depressed?
- How to Cope When Trying to Conceive Overwhelms You
- Taking a Break from Trying to Conceive
- Coping with Fertility Treatment Stress
- 10 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself
- How TTC Affects Your Sex Life
- How to Cope During the Two Week Wait
- Emotional Impact of Infertility
- Coping with Fertility Test Anxiety
- When the Pregnancy Test Is Negative
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Oh dear, I am doing all of those! My normally regular period is 4 days late, the HPT(s) are negative and I cannot concentrate on anything else. Thank you Rachel, at least I dont feel like I am alone!
Hi, I’m trying to conceive for more than 18 month. I saw my Gyn doc he said nothing is wrong with me, I took Clomid for three month and nothing seems to be working, pls help