Readers Respond: What Would Your Perfect Infertility Survivor Day Look Like?

Mother’s Day is one of the hardest times for coping with infertility. With Hallmark commercials of mothers and children hugging and kissing, and cashiers wishing any woman of childbearing age a “Happy Mother’s Day” – we’re in desperate need of our own day of celebration and self-care.

In fact, we have a holiday of our own - National Infertility Survival Day! Officially the day is celebrated the weekend before Mother’s Day, but feel free to declare your own personal survival day anytime you need a boost.

What would your perfect infertility survival day look like? Share your dream!

clear thoughts

My perfect Infertility Survival Day would be to have one day where I don't think about wanting a baby or the fact that it is taking me so long to get pregnant. It would be nice to be more carefree and happier again. To not have to think about which meds to take when or what type of cycle will be happening next, etc.

—Guest JH

Our Day of Victory

My perfect survival day, which I hope will come to realization next year, would be spent with my husband, our child(ren), and our family. Our day would begin with a cheerful brunch, followed by a restful and playful afternoon in the park. Our evening would consist of dinner with family, watching our child(ren) play with cousins (finally!). We would finish the night quietly rocking our little one(s) to sleep, and sending up prayers of thankfulness that we survived such a difficult trial.

—Guest Baby Hopes

Andi

A lie-in followed by breakfast at the local emporium (which uses fantastic local produce - yum). Then a long walk in the Derbyshire Dales, to include Monsal Dale which is the most tranquil, beautiful, calming place I know. Then it would be a pub lunch in a kid-free inn (sorry, it's just for one day...) followed by a night in a beautiful rented cottage with lots of red wine, italian food and chocolate. Maybe even a roaring fire if it's chilly. And, absolutely no talk of TTC, or the huge empty space in our lives... just a sense of being loved and having hope.

—andrea.sheridan

my dream day

Hearing no one talk about their kids just for one day. Hearing no one ask when are you going to have a baby and that means the ones that now we have been together 15 years. Just peace of mind one day without feeling like a failure.

—Guest hopefulmommy

National Infertility Survival Day Foundr

What I would like not to see: Anyone feeling alienated and left out on Mother's Day, when, through no fault of their own, their dreams of parenthood and family life don't come to pass as they had expected. I would love to see people having fun and celebrating their own lives -- I often think fondly about about a woman I read about, who, on her fiftieth birthday, ran down the beach with two blazing sparklers. Naked. I give her credit. I love the freeedom and self-acceptance that suggests. The spirit. I'd like to see that spirit reflected in the faces of women who would otherwise be sad on that day and the following Sunday.

—Guest Beverly Barna

Bubble Day

First, it needs to be said that I love all the mom's around me. However, the perfect survival day for me would be one where my husband and I could live in stress-free "bubble". In my "bubble" there would be no need to say Happy Mom's Day to all my family members (6 moms total) and I'd truly be able to erase the pain this day causes for my husband and I. Now...if I could just get a Father's Day "bubble" for my husband that would be great. Sorry but our 5 yr road of battling infertility and all the baggage that comes with it has made me a "little" cynical! LOL If God only gives you what you can handle...I must be Hercules.

—Guest Guest Alex

Infertility Parking Close Parking Space

At Krogers, I see 4 spaces for pregnant mothers - I wished at least 1 space would be devoted for infertile women. I'm constantly reminded of what we don't have in parking lots and in restaurants.

—Guest Ann

Adult-Only Activities

I like to do all the things that would be difficult to do with kids when I'm trying to escape infertility. I spent two days away at a girlfriend's house, went to a conference, had great dinner with her and had some wine. The next day I went to a craft show with another friend - very rocky, and not kid or stroller friendly! If I could have topped that off with a fun night out with my hubby, it would have been a perfect three days of escaping from infertility!

—Guest Anne W.

My Perfect Day

It would consist of a massage and chocolates and no DSD (sorry hun). Just time with DH to do whatever we please. Oh and money to go shopping with would be good too!!

—Guest Carrie

Day On The Town

My 'dream' day would consist of activities that I wouldn't be able to do with a baby: parasailing, massages and fine dining in the day, and stand-up comedy at night (after paying my respects to my mom and MIL). Realistically, though, I'd be very happy with lunch out, and adult comedy (does Judd Apatow have anything out?), and a nice walk together at night.

—Guest Elizabeth

Lunch and a Movie

Seeing I really wouldn't want to spend my day watching kids celebrate their own mother, (no offense intended) I'd love for my husband and I to go see an adult only movie followed by lunch at an expensive restaurant where there would be no little kids running around.

—Guest Kyra

Shopping

I'd shop 'til I dropped--well, not literally, but shopping does wonders for de-stressing. It would be even better if I had enough money to do more than window shopping!

—Guest Jean

Picnic at the Park

After giving my own mother her dues I would choose to spend the day outside, in the sunshine with my husband. After a day in the sun we'd go out to dinner and a movie. Preferably a movie that would take my mind off of anything related to fertility problems

—khayesrn

Peaceful Day

My dream day would be spending the day with my DH. No worries, no stress. Just the two of us making time for one another. Maybe having a picnic lunch, but definitely listening to our favorite music and taking a drive through our favorite forest valley.

—Guest Connie G.

I'm Thinking Couples' Spa Day

Pampering treatments like couples' massage, a nice quiet lunch together with my husband, focus on being still and quiet and enjoying that sort of subtle, unspoken intimacy couples need to re-connect. The serene public-yet-private-at-the-same-time spa atmosphere removes a lot of the pressure that infertile couples face.

—Guest Natalie

A day at the beach

My perfect day would be a day at the beach, lots of sun bathing, swimming in the ocean. And of course, some fine wine (since I'm not pregnant and don't need to worry about that!). It would also, if perfect, would not include ANY infertility stuff... not talking about it, no dr apts, no shots... that would just ruin the day, bah!

—Guest Becca

Breakfast in bed! Chocolate - lots!

My PERFECT survival day would start with breakfast in bed, fresh bread and cheese, some herbal tea, too. It would involve lots of chocolate treats, and my hubby would give me something nice, maybe a necklace, maybe a bracelet. Something small, but special. We'd certainly go out for dinner -- a fancy no-kids-allowed sort of place, of course! And we'd end the night giving each other massages, and with fun (no TTC thoughts!) romance and love.

—Guest Anne