Readers Respond: How Trying to Get Pregnant Overwhelms Your Life and How You Are Taking It Back

If trying to get pregnant seems to have taken over your life, join the club. Many couples find that if the positive pregnancy test doesn’t happen within a few months, trying to conceive takes over everything. In fact, research has found that the emotional impact of infertility is similar to those dealing with cancer, HIV, and chronic pain.

How has trying to get pregnant overwhelmed your life? And what, if anything, are you doing to take it back? Since reclaiming our lives may take several tries, feel free to come back and update us on on what’s working, what’s not, and what your next plans are.

Fertility Yoga

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. We started to TTC 6 months later. Ever since we started to TTC again my periods are stretching out further and further (right now I'm at 42 days)! My husband and I enrolled in fertility yoga (basically very gentle yoga with LOTS of deep breathing). My instructor told me my periods are getting further and further apart due to stress. Ladies-we can't control when we get pregnant! That's up to God to decide. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. We need to surrender to our higher power and just let it be. Yes, we can try to conceive on our most fertile days...yes, we can eat healthy and relax and do EVERYTHING we can control but we can't control when we as destined to become mothers. Baby dust to you all! I wish you all the luck in the world. God bless.

—Guest Regine

Don't let TTC make you bitter

TTC is a huge battle. It sucks all the energy out of you. I've been at it for 15 months now trying to conceive my first. I was totally obsessed with TTC during my second cycle of Clomid. I was an emotional wreck and when my period came I decided to just stop trying. I took a 7 month break and came back at it with a fresh mind. Even if I never have children I'm still going to live a long and happy life with my husband. However I have lost contact with friends since TTC. None of them have fertility issues and all their children were accidents. They can't even begin to comprehend why I want kids and this is not a desire I feel like explaining over and over again. Also be very careful who you tell about your TTC. People can be downright evil and mean especially if you're in your early 20's and just been diagnosed as infertile. Some will even pity you like you're less than them. Good luck to you all.

—Guest Tina-Bee

Am I barren?

I got pregnant on my first try. Had been on contraceptive pills for about 10 yrs before trying. Pregnancy was normal from beginning to when I spontaneously miscarried at 5 and a half months. That was the hardest thing I have ever gone thru in my 28 yrs of living. Its been over a year now and I just can't seem to conceive. Every month my menstrual cycle begins makes me cry. It brings back memories of my miscarriage. So many friends and family members around me are becoming pregnant and having babies and it makes me feel really really sad. I have been on fertility treatment without success so far. I think its taking a toll on me because its just hard for me to understand why is it so hard to conceive now when the first time happened so easily. Since losing the pregnancy, my menstrual cycle has not been regular. I've gone from 28 days cycle to 29, 34 and this last time 37 days!!! As much as my husband supports me I feel saddened that I can't give him an offspring. I need help - emotionally and to get some babies making.

—Guest teri

Hubbies have larger roles to play

Thank God for my husband, he is most supportive. It has not been easy. Mine is 9 yrs now, and I always feel pregnant. These days, I ignore the signs, and always get engaged with other things with a renewed mindset. If God has said I will mother children, it shall come to pass.

—Guest Onyinye ejezie

TTC totally sucked me in

Trying to get pregnant totally sucked me in. All I could think about was getting pregnant. When I looked around, all I saw were pregnant bellies and families with children. During the two week wait I would go CRAZY wondering if I was or wasn't pregnant. For years I was like this, until I got so depressed and anxious that I had to get help. My therapist helped me get a better handle on things, and not feel like I was drowning. But I still feel like I'm treading water all day long. My only advice for others is to see a therapist. It helped so much.

—Anna