How Long Have You Been Trying? (Optional)
15 months
Do You Already Have Any Children? (Optional)
No.
Where Are You In Your Trying to Conceive Journey:
We are on our two week wait after the first round of Clomid.
Describe in More Detail Your Infertility Story:
I am six years older than my husband and knew once we started TTC that I was in an age bracket where things could be tough. It has been a few decades since I had any sort of 'sex ed.' so I read up on the subject. I almost immediately began saliva testing and when that didn't seem to work for me started body basal temperature charting and charting my cervical mucus. After awhile my husband and I concluded this was only adding stress to an already stressful situation, so I stopped.
I did learn that I ovulate earlier than the standard and that I don't produce CM or at least nothing worth detecting.
I have a very large army on my side. My husband is super supportive, I have a naturalpath who uses tea, herbs and a technique called the Bowen Technique to help increase my chances of fertility. My Gyn. has taken all kinds of blood, done a few internals, an HSG (and an MRI, GRRRRR), and now I'm taking Clomid. I also see a psychologist every two weeks who's trying to help me be kinder to myself.
The diagnosis, where it stands today, is unexplained. This diagnosis comes even though I had the MRI because they thought my hormones were imbalanced, but that has since corrected itself and my HSG hurt, a lot, so that could indicate a miner tubal blockage that the dye corrected.
We're at a low success rate taking Clomid, simply because the doctor believes I ovulate pretty normally.... IUI might be our best bet, but we've decided to try Clomid until the New Year. At the end of Jan. we'll regroup and take the next necessary steps.
I am terrified of having to go through IVF, not just for the cost or needles, plus travel (for us the nearest clinic that offers IVF is a 1.5 hour plane ride away.), but because I know that this will be the last resort.
I am happy to adopt and wish we could start the process right away, but my husband wants to wait.
I can hear my biological clock ticking (I'm 36) and am trying to rewire my thought process to be okay with this. I try to remain positive, but allow myself time to feel sad, I try to keep busy, and try to be true to myself.... essentially I'm trying to stay balanced and while there are days I feel like I'm loosing this battle. There are (slowly) more days when I feel like I'm coming out on top. (Can you tell, today is a happy day!)
I've started talking about this openly with those who ask questions and those who wonder why I've taken a step back from certain parts of my life. I hope that by being open someone else won't feel the same loneliness I did.
Lessons Learned
- Be good to yourself and do what's right for you.
- At the doctor's office, ask questions & if you have more later, call & ask those too.
- Try to avoid the internet, it only adds to the anxiety.
- Be honest with the people around you.
- Remember some people in this world are boneheads & they'll never learn any better unless someone teaches them.... but if you're gonna teach, don't do it in anger, no one listens to angry people.
- It's okay to be sad & it's to ask for help.
- No one is perfect.
- If you put all the world's problems into one big pile and you could only choose one for yourself, you'd choose your own.
