With Valentine’s Day around the corner, I’ve been thinking about how our getting pregnant adventures affect our relationships. The infertility-rollercoaster is an emotionally charged ride, with some ups, but lots of downs.
When you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a long time, it can have strong effect on your sexual relationship. I can still remember when my husband would romantically whisper, “Let’s have a baby,” just before we would make love. Now, he wouldn’t dare mention pregnancy or a future baby at a moment like that. It’d ruin everything, and add on expectations and reminders of what should be but isn’t.
Infertility can spur arguments between couples, whether it’s on whether or not to keep trying, or how many treatments to try. The financial cost of infertility can add tremendous strain to a relationship. I’m very lucky to live in a place where many of our fertility treatments are covered by insurance. But even with coverage, it’s taken away the “extra” money that could have been used for fun vacations.
However, it’s not all tears. Infertility put a lot of strain on our relationship in the beginning, but overall, it’s brought us closer. We’ve both come to appreciate each other more, and realize that we have each other to love, even if that dreamed for third baby never comes.
How about you? Do you feel infertility has brought you closer together? Or further apart? Please take the poll above, and feel free to share your experiences in the comment box below, or in our fertility support forums.
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